Somehow it sneaks its way in. One day you are passionate, excited, and walking out your faith in dangerous wonder and then later on you find yourself not wanting to move from where you are at. Slowly but surely that passion and excitement can get drowned out by the pretend peaceful silence which draws us in to keep us from wanting to move. Why move or do anything risky or dangerous when everything is just going okay? What is the point of stepping out and purposefully making yourself uncomfortable?
I think I have recently reached a point in my heart where I have recognized that I have been walking in a "comfortable" relationship with Christ. Yes I have taken some big steps in trusting God with finances but that isn't the only step that He has called me to take. Years ago God gave me a vision for the youth in Shasta Lake and for the city itself and He has brought me to a place where I can begin to work on the things that He called me to but I am afraid to lose my comfort. Now, I would be lying if I said that everything up to this point has been comfortable serving out in Shasta Lake because it definitely hasn't, however, I find myself unwilling to take further steps towards the things that I want to see happen in Shasta Lake City.
(Everything that I am typing down is simply things that I have been processing recently and trying to type it all up late at night isn't really working so I'm just going to leave this off with the basics.)
I know what needs to take place in order for me to get out of my comfort zone - I actually have to take the step forward. I remember when i was in Australia and we went out into the major shopping area and did some street bible reading. It was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life, and it really shouldn't have been. I stood and listened to my friend read her favorite scripture out loud, and when I say loud I mean loud, as tons of people kept passing by and then explain why it was her favorite verse. I knew I would have to go next so I picked my favorite portion of scripture from Romans 8 and began to read out loud. I was so uncomfortable and afraid but I didn't let it stop me from reading it out as loud as I could without actually shouting. And, I remember as I was reading this sort of freedom came over me and what had made me scared and uncomfortable began to excite me so I pressed on to why it was my favorite portion of scripture. It was a thrilling and exciting experience that I am so glad I was able to do even though it did cause a couple of random aboriginal men to come and stand right behind me, almost touching me, as they were trying to figure out what I was saying. Somehow I need to get myself to take that step forward and be willing to put myself in those positions again. I don't mean that I need to go out and read the Bible in public all the time but that I need to be willing to step out and do the things that scare me, that make me uncomfortable, and that cause my faith in the God of all possibilities to increase.
Who knows maybe God will lead me to read the bible out loud in a random public setting again, that would be Seriously Ridiculous.
B.
Seriously I need to blog in the day. It is way to late for me to re-read this to make sure I didn't mess up.
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