Little B in the backseat

Tonight I made my dad drive back home from the lake and for the first time in a very long I sat in the backseat when we got closer to our house. The whole way home I was acting completely ridiculous and sticking my head out the window and telling the other person in the backseat to do the same because it seemed so random and fun. I couldnt understand what it was that was making me so crazy until I got home. I was a kid again. I was in the backseat of a car with my dad driving and acting like a complete fool, and it was great, just like a kid.
Recently I have recognized that I continue to have childlike outbursts where I just act like I'm 7 again. I think part of it is my own repressed childlike spirit trying escape from spending way too many moments as a kid playing an adutls role and the other part is simply that I'm always working around kids, which is probably why its easier for me to talk with kids than adults sometimes. I know it isn't a bad thing being as ridicuouslly childlike as I can be but sometimes it does get in the way when I accidently want to respond to a situation or  soemthing the way I would if I was a kid. In a way I think that I spend my time being an adult that contains the heart of a child in order to make up for my past being a child with the heart of an adult.bit in genral i think that being an adult is all relative and too many adults spend way too much time being an adult and far too little time being children. I know that there is a balance somewhere in all of this but I personally have no idea how to get there. Who knows maybe we are all supposed to be a bit more ridiculously childlike and less like stressed out, end of the world sulking, worried, adults. This is how I was created, or at least how the creator has directed my life to becoming, and I may struggle with my ability to build relationships with adults but I trust that I'm at least moving in the right seriously ridiculous direction.

"sigh"
B.