Trusting The Gift Giver

Here is a sort of random lesson that I learned today as I was reading a book called "Getting Fired for the Glory of God."

Every person has been given certain gifts and abilities that coincide with their identity and who God has created them to be. Over the years I have learned what gifts God has given me and what things I am good at and what I am not so good at. One thing that I didn't learn was how to keep myself from trusting so much in my ability or gifts that I forget to place my trust in the one who has given me the gifts. It is in this ridiculous state of being able to trust my gifts and having a hard time trusting in the giver of the gifts that I find myself now.
It doesn't seem to make much sense to me in my head how I got this way when I know where it is that my gifts have come from. No matter the reasons for how I got here, I need to get out. I can't stand being worried or frustrated or stressed out over things that I don't have control over. I don't like feeling like a failure or a loner or a child. I want to trust in Jesus, the one who I believe died on the cross to redeem all of creation and bring me the freedom to live an abundant life. There are definitely very specific issues and events in my life that have made trusting in God more difficult but nothing could take away my faith that God is love and God is just. So, no matter what experiences I have gone through or what I deal with I will continue believe that God is love. Maybe, instead of just believing that God is love I need to trust in His love and remember that He is always faithful in the midst of everything else that goes on in life.

In comparison to the Creator of the Universe my gifts are nothing and I just need to learn to trust in Him who I can't always see more than the gifts that I do see. Or, maybe I need to open my eyes and heart and see more of Him in the gifts that operate every time I do what I have been called to do.

I don't know. It's all feels a bit ridiculous and messy right now but I have hope that things will be clear in the future.

B.