Don't Expect Much From Me

I don't claim to be anything special or anyone important. I don't pretend that I am super holy or pure. I don't view things in a politically conservative fashion or even have much of a conservative world-view. I am just me and sometimes I have to make hard decision and I hate making them.

Within the last month I have wrestled with the decision of stepping down from a ministry that I have now stepped down from twice in my life. The Week before and the week that I actually made the decision in my own heart I felt more like a failure then I have in an extremely long time. I was super depressed and would be at peace and confident one moment and then completely and utterly broken the next.

There are many things I could say or reasons I could come up with about why I stepped down but the main reason is that I believe it is what I am suppose to do. The Creator of Heaven and Earth speaks in very different ways at different points in my life and right now I see His hand on the decision I have made. That being said, it doesn't make the decision any easier and I imagine that different people will make up their own excuses or say different things about me and the decision I made. Personally, I don't care.

Like I wrote earlier, I don't claim or pretend to be something I am not. If you ask me a question I'll give you an honest answer as gently as I possibly can. I will never pretend or make my life out to seem as though I have it all together. I struggle in my faith in God and my spiritual walk can be a bit messy at times but I continue to walk nonetheless. No matter what happens or what choices I make in my life I will continue to walk in faith as best I can. All that I have to offer is this Seriously Messy Spirituality that has me standing, sitting, or walking depending on where I am at in life. Which means, you can't expect much from me because there is not much that I can offer, other than myself and the Christ within me.
So....
Here I am, divinely chosen by the Creator who has grace enough for me to do His Will and who expects no more from me than that which He chooses to work within me and through me.

How Seriously and Ridiculously blessed I have been to be asked by Him to work in a community full of broken and hurting youth that His heart yearns for and that I have come to deeply care for.

B.A.