The Art of Giving Up...

There are certain things that when we start following Christ that He calls us to give up. Maybe for some people it is their dreams and for others it could be a harmful habit. When we decide to follow Him he calls us to be willing to lay down everything to follow him like the rich man who Jesus told to go and sell everything he had give it away to the poor and then come and follow him. There are so many things in my life that I feel like I can never give up or rather as soon as I think that I have given it up the reality that it is still there comes back like a punch in the face. Is he worth it of course, is every minute within his presence an immense blessing absolutely, is there more to gain by spending every moment dwelling wirh him sure but I have still yet to perfect the art of giving up: the art of letting go of every single human fleshly desire to seek the things that I personally long for rather than the things that god longs for me. Every time I feel like I have succeeded, in comes these hidden desires. These hidden desires hold tight like a ghostly figure retained in the secret memories in the back of mind waiting to make an appearance. Once it makes its appearance everyrthing that my flesh says that I am missing out on begins to be something I crave. Then, when desire creeps in, loneliness or depression is stirred for a lack of something that I am in no need of (or at least I don't think that I am in need of). This is how the art of giving up evades me. Every time I think I have given up everything precious to me like Abraham, who was willing to give up his own son, I am reminded that part of me still holds on to what I thought was let go. The blessed truth even in this whole circumstance is that the God of Heaven and earth has grace enough for me to never give up on me when I struggle giving up what I do not need.

B.

What could be more Ridiculous than God's grace?

Howling at the Moon

Ok this blog has nothing to do with howling at the moon I just figured it sounded like fun to do. I find it completely ridiculous that I am awake right now at 2:30am. Everyday I wake up around 9:30am lay in bed for a while and sometimes go back to sleep but only for short intervals where I'm in that half awake half asleep mode and then I get up feeling even more tired than when I first woke up at 9:30. I don't know what the deal is with me and why goign to sleep before even 1am is so stinking difficult. I could be completely exhausted and I would still find myself staying up past midnight. The only time I ever get to bed before midnight is when I am sick. But, even when I am sick I still wind up sleeping in until like 10:30.
I think that part of the reason I enjoy staying up so late is because all day long I am surrounded by people and noise so when midnight hits everyone else is finally asleep and the house is totally quiet. I can watch movies or my favorite shows without any distractions or interuptions, or on the rare occasion I could actually work on something that I didn't wind up finishing earlier because I was too distracted. I mean think about it. When you live in a family with tons of people and your job requires you to be around people almost all the time when you are alone it is like you can think clearly for the first time and relax without every being worried about anything. Doesn't that sound so nice! Then again, being alone for too long just gets sad. Another result of growing up in a large family is that even though the alone time is nice it gets old pretty quickly and you begin to want company. Such a weird Dichodomy, is that how you spell that word? I don't know.

B.

OH man I guess you could say howling at the moon does have to do with this blog because it is something that you do when the moon is out and that happens pretty late at night this time of the year.

Sweet!